


insecure

by soulofme



Series: sheith sentence prompts [31]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, CURTIS IS AN ASSHOLE, Canon Compliant, Jealousy, M/M, Oblivious Shiro (Voltron), Unrequited Love, just full on pain, sheith but from curtis's perspective, sorry for all his fans out there (??? not really tbh)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofme/pseuds/soulofme
Summary: There's something about Keith Kogane.
Relationships: Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: sheith sentence prompts [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1056407
Comments: 23
Kudos: 77





	insecure

**Author's Note:**

> typing that curtains/shiro tag physically took years off of my life. but it had to be done for the fic :(
> 
> sentence prompt: he's all yours.

There’s something about Keith Kogane.

Whatever that _something_ is, Shiro’s drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Curtis doesn’t understand it. Probably won’t _ever_. Shiro and Keith have the kind of relationship that’s nearly impossible to describe. No words seem adequate enough. The only thing he _does_ know is that sometimes, even when he doesn’t want it to, a tiny voice in the back of his head begins airing out all of his insecurities.

Keith is _pretty_. Everyone knows that. He’s got a sharp jaw and wicked eyes, a lean body that’s capable of fiercely protecting those that he loves. He’s passionate, stubborn in the best way, always putting others before himself. It’s impossible not to be fascinated by him in some way.

Curtis can’t help but feel average compared to him. He wasn’t a paladin of Voltron. He didn’t lose his innocence in space, didn’t have to grow up before he had to. Everyone knows about Keith’s past. It’s not secret. That’s why people are always so impressed by him. Because he’s always been _more_ than his circumstances.

No one can compare to that. Not a damn person on this planet, or even in this galaxy.

Hence, _insecurities_.

They’ve had a total of maybe three conversations. He’d come to the wedding as Shiro’s best man, but most of the time Curtis couldn’t even find him in the crowd. He hung around the open bar a lot, and the only person he seemed interested in speaking to was Shiro. The other paladins had shielded him for most of the day, like Keith was something delicate they had to protect. Keith hadn’t even approached him until the night was nearly over.

The _congrats_ he’d given them felt hollow, like it was physically killing him to say the words. Curtis had looked at Shiro to see if he heard it too, but he had this bright, sunny smile on his face like nothing at all was wrong in the world.

By all accounts, Keith had been polite. But Curtis had seen the way his smile began to tense around the edges.

The worst part of all isn’t even _Keith_.

It’s Shiro. Dumb, oblivious, Shiro. Curtis doesn’t have a word to describe the relationship between Keith and Shiro, but he’s not fucking _blind_. Anyone can tell that there’s something different there that took years to forage.

He doesn’t like thinking about it, but it’s nearly impossible not to. Keith is special to Shiro. Special in ways that no one else on this good green Earth is. Special in ways that even _Curtis_ isn’t.

There is, after all, one undeniable fact.

Keith and Shiro always have to be talked about together. If one was mentioned, the other would shortly follow. There was no way to separate them, really, and attempting to do so would just prove frustrating for the other party involved.

Believe him, Curtis has _tried_.

They were best friends. That’s what everyone said. That’s what _Shiro_ said. But that didn’t feel right. Never has, really. Best friends don’t look at each other the way those two do. Best friends don’t interact the way they _do_. It sounds like he’s being irrational, like his jealousy is rearing its ugly head and making him see things he hadn’t before. But it’s the truth, and the thought of it makes Curtis feel physically _ill_.

He edges the topic during breakfast one morning, when Shiro is focused on his datapad, glasses on and cup of coffee slowing cooling by his elbow. Curtis clears his throat, which gets him a tiny smile of acknowledgement and a nod. He can’t help but to think of the smile _Keith_ always gets, and how this isn’t even close.

“Have you heard from Keith recently?”

“Keith?” Shiro echoes, furrowing his eyebrows. Suddenly, he brightens. “Yeah, I’m gonna catch up with him this weekend. It’s been a while.”

“Alone?”

Shiro looks up at him, clearly caught off guard. “Uh, yes?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Curtis gets out around the lump in his throat.

Shiro’s confusion begins to phase into irritation. There’s a tick in his jaw and Curtis just _knows_ he put there.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he asks, voice deceptively calm. Curtis sucks in a steady breath. It’s now or never.

“Haven’t you noticed?”

“Haven’t I noticed _what_?”

“That he’s in love with you.”

There it is. The thing that Curtis had been trying so desperately to avoid. The words feel like acid on his tongue. He imagines them rotting the inside of his mouth, melting away his teeth and flesh until there’s nothing but bone. Out of the two of them, though, Shiro’s the one who looks the most annoyed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on,” Curtis says, throwing up his arms. He can’t possibly be _that_ oblivious. “Everyone can see it. _I_ can see it.”

“Keith’s my best friend,” Shiro says, tone leaving no room for argument. “He’s like a brother to me.”

“I’m not talking about how _you_ feel. I’m talking about how _he_ feels.”

“Keith’s not like that,” Shiro argues, shaking his head like he can’t believe they’re having this conversation. “Besides. I married _you_ , didn’t I?”

“Ugh,” Curtis growls, feeling more and more like he wants to tear his hair out. “I said it’s not you. It’s about him!”

“Fine. What about him?” Shiro challenges, crossing his arms firm over his chest.

“I already said it. He loves you, and not as a damn _brother_.” He can’t help but to spit the word out.

He thinks he sees Shiro’s expression shift, as if he’s beginning to question the truth of Curtis’s words. He doesn’t say anything, though, just presses his lips together in a firm line and returns to his work.

“We’re not talking about this anymore.”

Curtis sneers. “You can’t just end the conversation because you’re wrong.”

“I’m _wrong_?” Shiro hisses, eyes dark with anger in a way Curtis has rarely seen. “You don’t even know Keith. Not like I do. You can’t just make assumptions about him to cover your own insecurities.”

Ah, shit. That one hurt.

“I’m insecure?”

“What else would you call it?” Shiro mutters, more to himself than Curtis. He turns back to his datapad, eyebrows furrowed into a sharp line.

Curtis storms out of the room, about as maturely as a grown man can.

The next time Curtis sees Keith, it’s at the Garrison’s Christmas party. It’s a new thing they’re trying out. Really, it’s an excuse for every strait-laced engineer and exhausted astronaut to get drunk and loosen up. It’s the rare occurrence of fun they’re afforded in between diplomacy and all those fucking _meetings_.

This year, Iverson’s handing out awards. He makes it seem like the Oscar’s, which is equal parts hilarious as it is confusing. Right now, Shiro’s up on stage. He’s been nominated for being the most influential of them all, a superb pilot in every way.

Of course, Curtis is up there with him. Husbandly duties and all. But he keeps seeing _that_ face in the crowd. All sharp edges and angles, the kind of man that looks damn sure he’s too good for everyone in this room.

Except, maybe, Shiro.

Keith’s far away enough that Curtis can’t tell if they’re making eye contact or not. His entire body feels like it’s on fire, every hair standing up on edge, so he figures they just might be.

He doesn’t realize everyone’s waiting for him to say something until Shiro nudges him with his elbow. He blinks, forcing himself back to the present, trying desperately to think of _something_.

“Honestly, I had nothing to do with this,” he settles on a humble approach. The audience laughs politely. He powers on. “No, I really didn’t. This is all Shiro. He had a lot of good people by his side. I only came around at the end of it all.”

Again, he searches out Keith’s face. Curtis can’t read the expression he has on.

“There’s someone who should be up here instead of me,” he says, the cogs in his mind slowly turning. He smiles, but there’s nothing kind about it. “He was there for Shiro through _everything_. You can’t talk about Shiro and everything he’s accomplished without mentioning Keith’s contributions. They always worked well as a team.”

At his side, Shiro tenses. He leans towards him, eyes wide.

“What are you doing?”

Curtis ignores him. “I think you should come up here, Keith.”

Keith looks downright pissed now. People start to stare at him, whispering as they do. Curtis can only imagine what they’re saying. He remembers the argument he’d had with Shiro about this very man and feels sickly satisfied with the way Keith squirms in his seat.

After a few moments of coaxing, mostly from Lance (who’s clearly oblivious to what exactly all of this is), Keith strides to the front of the room. He holds his chin up high, practically staring down his nose at Curtis.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for him,” Curtis says, pleasant as he can.

He puts a hand on his shoulder, and Keith’s eyes flash dangerously at the move.

Keith looks awkward standing next to Shiro, his shoulders hunched and hands shoved into his pockets. Shiro rambles on about _something_ , but Curtis really doesn’t know what the hell his husband’s even saying. All he can think about is Keith next to Shiro, and how goddamn _perfect_ they look.

The paladins are given a group award next, and then everyone’s back to drinking and having a good time. Curtis picks his way through the crowd, eyes zeroed in on the open bar. Keith’s there, too, and he sits next to him before he can even think about it.

“Hey.”

Keith stares straight ahead. “What the hell was that?”

“What?” Curtis asks, playing dumb. “It’s true. It’s always been you and Shiro, right?”

Keith scoffs.

“Hey, man. He’s all yours. No need to get jealous.”

“Not like he’s _yours_.”

And there it is. The crux of this whole issue. Keith grinds his teeth, hard enough that Curtis can see the hard edge of his jaw. His hand, the one not wrapped around his drink, clenches into a fist.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“C’mon, Keith,” Curtis says, leaning close so that Keith has nowhere to look but at him. “I’m not an idiot.”

“You’re starting to sound like one.”

“How long?” he asks, because the need to know is burning him up inside. “Years, right? Did you still want him at the wedding? Do you still want him now?”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Keith growls. “Am I a fucking _threat_ to you?”

Honestly? Yes. But Curtis figures he doesn’t need to verbalize that. Keith keeps looking at him like he’s lost his fucking mind. Maybe he has. It wouldn’t be that surprising.

“I gave you your moment,” Curtis offers after a moment. Keith narrows his eyes into dangerous little slits. “You should be thanking me.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“You can get mad all you want,” Curtis tells him, reading himself to deliver the finishing blow. “Just remember you _lost_ , Kogane.”

He leaves Keith like that, feeling damn proud of himself. He finds Shiro speaking to Katie Holt and Hunk and grabs his elbow.

“Can we go?” he asks.

Shiro frowns. “Uh, sure. Right now?”

“Yes, please. Right now.”

“Alright,” he says hesitantly. He smiles at his friends. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Yeah, sure,” Katie says, giving Curtis some nasty look that makes him feel like she knows something he doesn’t.

Maybe it’s about Keith. It usually tends to be.

“Are you okay?” Shiro asks when they get outside. It’s a cool night, but not cold enough to get rid of the flames Curtis swears he feels licking up his spine. He sees Keith’s face then, replays the moment that smug fucker got knocked down a peg.

“I’m fine,” he says, and then vows to never think about Keith Kogane again.


End file.
